Many of you heard Tammy testify last night to the amazing way that Beth Moore spoke to each of us. Like Tammy I did not get much out of the book personally because God and I dealt with my insecurity issues long ago. The book more reaffirmed things He had shown me over the last decade so I almost bailed on the simulcast because I could not imagine what God could possible have to tell me. I should have known better...lol...He always has a Fresh Word if we are open and listening. And Beth Moore can just flat BRING IT! Tammy shared the portion that spoke to me as well only with a slightly different spin. I thought I'd share it here (albeit it will be long and a tad personal...I can't believe I am actually going to type it for the world to see...so bear with me or stop reading here) .
You see for almost 30 years I worked very hard to make sure that I was "ACCEPTED" (pronounce it in your Johnston County accent or the whole rest of this fails...haha). I wonder if it came from growing up with an alcoholic, verbally abusive stepfather who constantly degraded my self-worth. Life was miserable at home and I sought refuge away from it! As the years passed all I wanted was to fit in...with everyone and anyone. In high school I was a band geek and head cheerleader at the same time, I dated an Ag boy who hung out on the shop hall, I took dance and made honor roll. I was Homecoming Queen runner up because everyone knew who I was...Miss Popular. I was consistently aware of whether others ACCEPTED me into their circles. I hated college life because I just DID NOT fit in...haha At times I (ashamedly) compromised my morals to fit in. Add to all that the fact that I was saved as a tween but had NO clue what a relationship with Jesus consisted of because at the Church of God where I prayed the sinner's prayer they never discussed relationships...only fear and condemnation and hell. Hell was very real to me but Jesus was not.
And then when I came to WMBC as a fairly screwed up 28 year old wife and mother of one...Jesus rocked my world. WMBC introduced me to Henry Blackaby and Beth Moore and the concept of Discipleship Training. Henry Blackaby (my earthly hero) showed me who Jesus was and Beth Moore taught me how to Break Free to find Him. All my childhood hatred was replaced with forgiveness. Forgiveness towards my then deceased step dad and forgiveness towards my mother who chose an alcoholic over me and was too timid and scared to leave him all those years. I do want to note that forgiveness is one thing and rebuilding relationships is another...and while the relationship is still struggling with current/new issues...the forgiveness for past wrongs has been healed. I was filled with Praise to God that my Daddy took me in when I was a young teen when I made that call the night I could stand it no longer...and then raised me as best he could (with lots of help!). And I Praise God for the miracle He did in me when I finally became a "Woman After His Own Heart". My life could have turned out so much differently without the grace of God. And I never understood that as clearly as I do today.
Well, until the Simulcast I did not have the words to describe it...but in the last 5 or so years God has repeatedly shown me (actually more times than I care to admit!) that it matters NOT whether anyone says they "ACCEPT" me...what matters is whether they "EXCEPT" me.
It's really such a simple concept...but so hard to live out! The transformation began years ago when God showed me that fitting in really was overrated...I look back now and laugh at that long season of sanctification although at the time it was so painful. Through MUCH Bible study, prayer and reading lots of Christian Living books I finally got the confidence in God to make better choices even when they were hard choices to make. Even when it would be against what the majority thought was appropriate or correct. The song "I'll Join the Rocks" became my theme song for life..."What if I'm the only one to break the silence? What if I'm the only one to crack the ice? I'll join the rocks!" God showed me that being "the only one" is really ok.
I am NOT perfect by any means and I still make poor choices and have to repent...but God is still showing me daily that it is His Will to be the "EXCEPTION". It is a slow process of transformation that ultimately will not be complete until I see His face in glory. But I know through His Word and affirmation that my hope is secure in Him and I need nothing this world has to offer. I just have to survive the temporary life here and tell as many folks as I can of His grace and mercy. So I echo Tammy's challenge...let's be the "EXCEPT THEM".
I love you all! Share how He recently spoke to you at the simulcast or in another setting.
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Rom 12:2
STILL Desperately Seeking Him,